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that was fun jaime..... [Jun. 9th, 2004|07:32 am]

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dumbgirls [Jun. 4th, 2004|01:15 pm]
so my computer is crappy. i hate dells is it just me. i have these friends who are driving me up the wall...apparently the girl is mad at me. over something stupid like i didnt talk to her enough at the last party we were at, and so now i dont like her...this was months ago mind you, and now i find out from her boyfriend that im mean to her, i didnt think i was mean, i said hello and tried to talk but shes one of those people that just wants to be miserable. so now he wont come to our party next weekend for julie's graduation, bc im throwing it, its at my apt, and she doesnt like me. man i had no idea.
stupid bitch, im not wasting my time inviting them anymore.
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haha victory [May. 19th, 2004|12:55 pm]
i open mouth kiss. i love it. its so fun. and i got him....last night after work in the parking garage...bold bold move
i love it.
i would say "hooked" up
but that isnt what happened....
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work blah blah [May. 12th, 2004|12:52 pm]
i was hoping they would make me a model...is it possible im not as pretty as i think i am? no.
heehee...theres a total cutie down the hall
should i make him my next victim?
it might be awkward to work with him
or it could be extra tortuous....

are the paid accounts worth it --my fellow lj friends...thats a poll question?
let me know ....
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gone so long........ [May. 11th, 2004|09:04 am]
well ive been sooooo busy
i just got this new job, working for a cosmetics firm doing ad layout, which is what i know how to do but the best is i get free samples! woohoo...but now im nervous bc i love my bar life and i dont knwo how long i can keep it up! more later
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i fancy being a poet [May. 2nd, 2004|02:26 pm]
raven hair and amber eyes
he needs my stare i need his lies
his captivating glare his cool replies
his i dont care
his gentle cries

his love i now share
because her love he buys
a shadow i wear with my anguished sighs
this pain i cannot bare
these binding ties i must tear
the forever whys are so unfair

so he feels im aware
and now he tries and begs in prayer
so he prys into my lair
his amber eyes my endless stare
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water [May. 1st, 2004|10:07 pm]
i went down to the water to be alone
i just wanted sometime to think
i wasnt afraid of anything as long as i could sink
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whos that? [Apr. 30th, 2004|07:05 am]
[mood |complacentcomplacent]
[music |frozen - tegan and sara!]

the blurry dream like qualities-- which we feel can only exist here -in a subconscience state --Do in fact exist else where...
and i never really feel out of place i can feel at home almost anywhere.
it surprised me and with such things as this, they developed me in to
something i can not quite explain.
and as to the best of my abilitty i can only recall fragments of each
dream and of each memory that reminds me of the present and of the
future which feel like a dream very far away
and they are not quite the same as i remember but they do feel so
familiar almost like the childhood she left behind and it is all we
can do to recapture it
it isn't so bad really
it isn't so bad here
with the white walls and their white faces
they don't even know about the sun
they can't reamamber it but they do not
miss it this way
i do though
and i can't help but miss it all
and the boy with the sidewalk chalk has no idea what i am telling you
he can not remember such things that youy live everyday
did you miss me while i was away
i would say
and with the response that i know to be false i could offer you only a
smile because i know you too well and the night before you left we
were dancing and there were shooting stars not just because of the
trip but because i have away of making nature convince me that
everything is all right
and it was cold so we went inside because she was looking out for us
and we didn't get in trouble
well i have seen this all before
and they say they want me
they say they need me
but they always
leave me
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pixie on the patios! [Apr. 29th, 2004|10:52 pm]
so last night i went to this bar, i wont name names but i dont think anyone reads this anyway.
and i see him, yes him who i thought had actually died, a blast from my past, across the pool table. and im wearing my pixie wings because thats what i do. the bar was way too crowded and no one could or would play pool. so i smacked him with the pool stick....and we make eye contact and i smiled slyly and i walked out to the patio...its hard to walk through crowded places when youve got wings on. (fyi)
but he followed me, i knew he would....and it was like - the look on his face - i wish i could have it framed....him seeing me it was like i was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen...i loved it....and then i left...i had this big guy i know toss me over the fence before he could get to me...
landed on the patio of the next bar, no covers for pixies like me...we are so tricky.
i want to make him hurt so bad....
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i wish.... [Apr. 28th, 2004|10:57 pm]
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |rubbernecking by the king!]

there was somethign in the night,
the way it was cold and hot at the same time and how
there was nothing i could do or say to get your
attention...nothing and i knew at the same time that
this was only temporary...
and that i didn't want to know you anyway, and i
didn't want you to notice me and you were gonna adn i
was going to get you anyhow.
even tho i would regret it in the morning and i would
cry the day after about how i didn't kwow anythign
anymore all i know is that crying has become my
favorite past time and that there are somethigns that
even i cannot control...
like the weather and the way you feel and the past
that oyu are dying to talk about and i cannot deal
with you any more than i can deal with my self.
don't you see that?
why is this soo hard when i know i want to win and i
know i always get what i want but i dont even want it
and i just wish i had never met
or that i never liked you
girls have to have the boys wanting them
boys just have to want the girl....
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